


back to the beginning.

by tearsandholdme



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, M/M, Reincarnation, Romance, Sexual Content, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 01:01:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/616324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandholdme/pseuds/tearsandholdme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the hardest and most painful day of his life when Merlin let Arthur go that day but he didn't leave. He would never leave Arthur's side and it was only a matter of time before he returned. 1500 years later and Arthur has emerged from the lake confused and disorientated only to learn that the world has changed and it's now up to Merlin to teach him modern ways. It's Merlin's journey to teach Arthur the mechanics of a hoover, a television, a laptop and also to experience and embarrassing journey to a supermarket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	back to the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> I sadly have no beta so all my mistakes and errors are my own. This is my first Merlin/Arthur fic and I tried my very best. :) I hope you enjoy.

“I’ll come back when you call me, no need to say goodbye”

~0~0~0~

Merlin stared out across the lake long after Arthur had disappeared into the mist that lingered around the edges of the land. His eyes blurred and he crumbled feeling the pain shatter through him, his knees gave in and he tumbled down into the water. The iciness of the lake covered his knees and thighs soaking his breeches and his boots but he didn’t care. Nothing else mattered now. Hot tears rushed down his cheeks as he remained there staring down into the murky waters. 

“Arthur is not just a king. He is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion’s need is greatest: Arthur will rise again” 

Merlin opened his eyes slowly looking out across to the isle and swallowed hard listening to the echo of Kilgharrah’s last words to him before he took off into the sky leaving him alone. It should leave hope in his heart that one day he will see Arthur again but it couldn’t, not yet. He pushed himself up with a groan staring up at the sky feeling his grief and failure swarm over him. He inhaled deeply stepping out of the water and dropping down onto the grassy edge with a shaky exhale. Merlin whispered a spell drying his clothes and sat at the edge of the lake to simply wait. Merlin couldn’t leave him, he couldn’t return to Camelot because Camelot was nothing to him now not without Arthur. 

Merlin didn’t know how long he was sat on the cold hard ground staring across at the lake. It was so silent, so calm but beautiful and he couldn’t stand it. He wondered what was happening back at Camelot now. Did they know the King was dead? Would Guinevere be sole successor and ruling alone? Was the meal Gaius holding for him still there? Merlin didn’t want to dwell on it but all he had now was his thoughts. There was a small part of him that wanted to go back, to see Gaius, Gwen, and the knights once more but the pain of Arthur not being there and the fact he refused to leave him stopped the thought in place. 

His place was at Arthur’s side and like he had said to him before he passed away he was happy to serve him. Merlin couldn’t leave. His eyes burned from lack of sleep as he let his body fall into the grass, body curling in on itself as he lay there simply watching. Somewhere deep in the lake, Arthur lay in peace in Avalon and would one day return to him but the point was…when? 

Again, he didn’t know how long he remained at the lake side simply watching. Merlin pushed up off the ground feeling the ache in his bones as he stood and blinked his weary eyes. His clothes stunk from the grass, lake water, salt and sweat saturating the thin clothing. He walked forward crouching down and dipping his fingers into the water. 

“I’ll be back” he whispered before standing up and walking down the shoreline and away from the lake. He wouldn’t stray far of course but he needed to spread his legs and breathe in the air. Arthur had been right about peace at last but the sickening feeling of running through Morgana with the sword didn’t fade. Merlin blamed himself for what happened to Morgana but it was Morgana who chose her path. Evil invaded her very essence twisting into something that had to be stopped. Her death was inevitable but a small part of him wondered if there could have been redemption for her but it was too late, he was too late and she died by his hand. He stood by the forest narrowing his eyes thoughtfully as he noticed the stillness. 

Merlin moved forward turning his head back to look at the lake before continuing forward. He soon found a stream and bathed himself there keeping an eye and an ear out for bandits or any of the Saxons lingering around. He stared at his reflection in the lake and saw the weariness of the many passing days and wondered what Arthur would have said. The pain racketed through him as he clutched at his chest closing his eyes feeling his magic pulse and flare underneath his skin at the mere thought or memory of him. His breathing was soon in control as he stood wiping at his face and pulled it away to see tears lingering on his fingers. Merlin wondered if the pain would ever fade. He turned back returning to the lake and stood by the edge once again looking out. The sun had set half an hour ago taking away the warmth and the mist started to creep slowly forward. 

Merlin soon took comfort against one of the many trees surrounding the area and his clothes and skin were warmed by the fire. His eyes soon drifted close on their own accord and he dreamt. He dreamt of Arthur of course, the dreams never stopped and it was always their last moments. It was remembering the feel of Arthur in his arms begging to be held because he could no longer go on. The defeat and despair he had felt when they were so close but yet so far away from Avalon. The pain was too real and he could never escape it, he could never escape watching the light leave those blue eyes or the moment he opened them filling him with such hope. He had begged him to stay with him but it was just too late and all he had left were last words. 

Merlin always woke up just as he pressed his forehead to Arthur’s before the dragon’s arrival. He awoke with a gasp and a sob feeling cool sweat cover his body as he called out for Arthur. The silence that echoed back broke his heart once more as he bent his head digging his hands into the grass and the dirt crusted underneath his nails. He missed him more than he ever imagined and he swore to never lose him. 

What was the point in a coin that loses its other half? How are you meant to survive when the most important person in your whole existence was lost to you for now but would one day return? Merlin didn’t know how he going to this but he must. He would not abandon Arthur now and since he was born to serve him he must. 

Life goes on and you must carry on with it.

~0~0~0~

In the early years, Merlin didn’t wander too far from Avalon. It became his home after a long period of time and loneliness welcomed him into its cold and dark arms. Arthur could return at any moment and he would not miss it for the world. The empty despair and heartache lingered inside of him flaring like a flame like a constant reminder. Merlin knew that Arthur would disapprove about what he was doing right now and the fact he had not returned to Camelot for months. 

He often saw Camelot patrols and even some of the knights. He even saw on one occasion Percival riding but there was such a weight on his shoulders. Merlin saw the difference in the strong but kind knight and saw no happiness there. Merlin stayed away hidden in the shadows of course and soon left when the horses sensed him. 

Sometimes when he stared too hard at the tower across the lake he saw a figure. He was too scared to move in case it was real but it never was. Merlin always blinked and the figure standing on the shoreline of the island disappeared along with his hopes that maybe, just maybe, he was returning. Merlin was no fool to the fact that it was maybe too soon for his king to rise again and let it go as a simple hallucination. 

The dreams, the memories, everything around him is a constant reminder but he can’t leave and it’s two years after Arthur died in his arms that he summoned the strength to return to Camelot. The walk was long and tiring with no horse to assist him and it felt like a part of him had been left behind at the lake. He braced himself against the tree closing his eyes. 

“I will be back, Arthur, I swear” he whispered before inhaling deeply and trudging on through the forest. It was a three day journey back towards Camelot and when he stepped through the trees and saw the gleaming white castle that was Camelot he froze feeling an overwhelming feeling of sickness and pain hit him. He stumbled in his step covering his mouth with his hands. 

“Don’t be such a girl, Merlin!” 

Merlin shook his head quickly as Arthur’s voice echoed in his head and he nodded taking a step forward again and again till he hit the drawbridge. He swallowed hard not taking notice of the people who passed him by because he truly didn’t believe they would recognise him. Merlin was here to see Guinevere and despite everything that had happened they were friends and always had been from the moment they met. He stared down at his clothes that he had enquired from villages he had passed along his journey this past year and more importantly his cloak. It was a gift from an elderly lady when his trainings from Gaius came into handy when he helped her son. It was soft and warm and he treasured it like no other. Merlin lifted the hood covering his face as he walked through the lower town heading towards the citadel feeling a bang of memories. 

Like all those years ago when his mother sent him here and he stared in awe at the beauty of the castle, where he had first met Arthur and hated the man he saw, and discovered the cruelty of Uther. His eyes closed at the pain and joy of the memory but he pressed forward till he crossed the courtyard and up the stairs into the castle. He side eyed the guards as he passed. It didn’t take Merlin long to get to his destination as he stood out of Gaius’s door before knocking and opening it. 

Gaius looked up with a raise of his eyebrow looking so much older than he imagined. Merlin couldn’t help the smile that twitched into his lips as he lowered his hood.   
“Merlin!” Gaius gasped dropping the remedy he was creating and moved towards him. Merlin welcomed the hug but flinched away moments later. He had been starved of human touch like this for two years and didn’t like it. 

“My boy, where have you been?” Gaius said pulling back shaking his head. “Two years, Merlin, I…I feared the worst”

“I had to stay with him, Gaius” Merlin said softly staring up at his old room. “I couldn’t come back, not yet”

“I understand” Gaius replied giving him the glance over. “You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and not aged a day”

“I never will…” he muttered trailing off. “How is the kingdom?”

Gaius seemed to pause for thought. “I’m not going to stay it hasn’t been hard, Merlin, but Guinevere is a strong but brave woman and her reign will continue strongly as Arthur’s did”

Merlin winced at the name and nodded with a hard swallow. “I must see her, where is she?”

“I would say the royal chambers or the council room” Gaius said in reply and watched as Merlin took off out of the room. 

Merlin paused outside the room before knocking and waiting as he looked at the guards looking over to him. There was no answer till the last moment when he heard a tired woman’s voice calling at him to enter. Merlin stepped through before the guards acted and stared across at Guinevere near the window. Her eyes met his and she gasped taking in sight of him. Merlin bowed his head at her with a small sad smile and held still when she walked over with wide eyes crowding into his personal space. 

“Merlin” she whispered staring at him with eyes shining with tears. “I feel like I’m dreaming”

“This isn’t a dream” he said softly and welcomed the tight hug she gave him before stepping back and pressing her hands to his lips. 

“Merlin, it’s been so long since I saw you or heard from you. Where have you been?” she said bringing her hands up to her face. Merlin took in his friend, the queen, and he saw the weariness, the tiredness, and the beauty remaining there. It was such a big job for the once maidservant turned queen to have the whole kingdom on her shoulders. Merlin sat her down of course and explained everything. He told her of Arthur’s final moments, his last words, and he saw the pain reflected in her eyes. 

Merlin knew without a doubt that it pained Gwen to not have been there in his final moments but it was never spoken between them. He let his hands be squeezed as she closed her eyes and nodded. 

“I’m glad he was with someone who cared so much about him. You were always at his side”

“I always will be” 

Merlin didn’t stay long at all. It was three days later when he was greeted by the rest and remaining knights to learn from Percival that Gwaine had died by Morgana’s hand. The despair hit him hard as he stared at Percival and let his hand rest on his shoulder. 

“He didn’t die alone; you were there for him when he needed you the most”

“I couldn’t save him” 

Merlin closed his eyes knowing the feeling very well and it was soon after that he left the kingdom in the dead of the night. He left a note with Gaius speaking his goodbyes through pencil and paper and returned to Avalon in his wait for Arthur. 

~0~0~0~

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months turned into years. But Arthur did not appear. The years slipped decades and into centuries. Life passed by so quickly it was overwhelming and Merlin was not just alone but bitter, sad, and desperately longing for Arthur. The thought of him became painful, their last memory became locked away only to appear in his dreams when he woke up silently crying or calling out for him. His heart ached at the mere memory of him and he tucked his face into pillow of the room he was staying in that night. The candle burned low and the rain pounded down hard on top of the shackled roof. Merlin turned his head towards the window and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders as he walked over to sit by it. 

Merlin had watched from the side lines as Guinevere ran the kingdom into the golden age and the ban of magic had been lifted two months after his departure from Camelot. Magic was free to be practised without the fear of death but there was always a lingering fear of course because too much had happened at the hands of people who used magic. It was day by day that Merlin realised that he had not aged a day while others died around him. 

It was like a shiver up his spine when Gaius passed away four years later his last visit. Merlin had wept into the early hours huddled underneath a tree near the lake and at that moment hated his immortality. Merlin watched as the kingdom grew and news spread across the land of Guinevere’s death and the crown was passed down and down to different generations. 

It was nearly ten years that Merlin left Avalon once more to travel to Ealdor to visit his mother. The greeting he received was one of sadness and pity when he was informed that his mother had passed away two months earlier from a fever. The pain was unbearable as he fled the village that he once grew up in. The tears he wept were angry as he screamed in anger and wished for death. His magic rippled through him destroying the forest around him till his voice was hoarse, his tears silent and the pain like a wound to his heart. 

The lands began to change, war and sickness ravished across the land, and still Arthur didn’t return. Merlin would never leave Avalon, he wouldn’t risk leaving to miss him returning but the lingering hope was fading by an inch every year. He knew deep down that Arthur would hate what he was doing but how could he leave? He watched across from the lake as the years wore down on the tower and it crumbled away stone by stone. 

It was one night he dreamt of a face he hadn’t seen in centuries. Merlin was sat by the lake when a pale hand touched his shoulder and he turned to see Freya sitting beside him. She smiled and touched his cheek in greeting.

“I’ve missed you” Merlin whispered as she looked out across the lake. 

“I don’t miss you, Merlin, because I see you every day when I shouldn’t be” she said softly meeting his eyes. “You know he wouldn’t want this”

“I can’t leave him, Freya”

“Forever at his side” she said with a small smile. “It’s not time, Merlin, he won’t wake for years and you wasting your life here is not helping you. It’s your turn to rest as well as his”

Merlin stared at her and saw no lie as she cupped his cheek. 

“He sleeps in Avalon right now in eternal rest till the call is given and then…then he will return to you, Emrys, but not now” she whispered and drew her hand away. “Albion’s time of need is not yet here and will not be till the world has changed completely. When the day comes you will know”

Merlin opened his mouth in surprise and closed his eyes slowly when she kissed his cheek warm but wet. Freya pulled away stroking her fingers down his cheek.

“He will return to you but you need to go and live your life, he’s waiting for you as well” she said in departure. Merlin opened his eyes and stared at the darkness in front of him with a hard swallow wondering if it was real. It was only when he touched his cheek and felt the dampness from a kiss was when he truly believed it. 

It took time but soon Merlin started to leave the lakeside and spread his wings as so to speak. He travelled far and wide learning the new world that had slowly been born. The word Albion soon disappeared and the United Kingdoms were more acknowledged. The world was changing in a flash of colours and new inventions. It was terrifying as the decades and centuries flown by and magic was forgotten. The druids seemed to disappear into the night and his magic seemed to wither inside of him. It was still there when he wanted it but the most he used it for was his aging spell. It was easier to become the eighty year old man because no one disturbed you and it worked well in every era that came along. 

The problem with moving along with the world was joining in with it. It was about removing your old clothes and switching to the new ones. It was about wearing shirts and pants instead of breeches and cloth and shoes that hurt to wear. It was about styling your hair and spraying yourself with cheap perfume and it was terrifying. 

Merlin watched in pain and sadness as The Black Death raged in 1348 till 1350 killing between 75 and 200 million people but Arthur didn’t return. Merlin continued on though. His journeys took him all over the world to China, Japan, Germany, France, and Spain meeting wonderful people, learning different cultures but he never ever forgot Arthur. 

It was in Japan when he got a tattoo on his hip of the Pendragon Crest but he was drunk off liquor and it hurt in the morning but it was reminder of who he belonged to. His heart and soul craved for Arthur but it was still not time. 

The twentieth century came with a bang and a change. The First World War came to the country in 1912 and Arthur didn’t return. The Second World War came again to the country in 1939 and Arthur didn’t return. Merlin despaired keeping his younger form old so he would not be called for duty. He would not go away to war without Arthur. His place was at Arthur’s side and he would not fight for another king or queen. Instead Merlin travelled the world meeting friends and losing them. It was a constant curse and he hated it. 

Merlin always returned to Avalon though walking down the street and passing the cars of this time and patrolled it. He stared out and closed his eyes inhaling the smell that lingered there. It was fresh water, dirt, and a hint of something sweet like long dead flowers.

“Come back to me” he murmured dropping down in front of the lake. “Why are you not back, Arthur, why am I still waiting for you?” 

He got no answer of course and only the rustle of the bushes and trees around him. The water rippled and he thought of Freya’s words and knew she was judging him right now. He turned his back once on the lake once again ignoring the stinging in his eyes putting one foot after another. The burn in the back of his throat didn’t help and he swallowed hard wondering when the pain would ever end. Why wouldn’t it go numb like a cut or a stab wound? Merlin snorted feeling a tear run down his cheek as he walked and then…ran. 

It was decades that passed and Merlin eventually settled into a house nearby the lake and it was in the 1960’s when Merlin had his breakdown. It easy to lose himself in alcohol and cigarettes, he took great delight in sucking the end of a cigarette tasting the sharp goodness and getting drunk alone in his little house. He had no idea that this would be the year that a reincarnation would appear into his life. Merlin wasn’t expecting to find a barman behind the many clubs and bars he attended to resemble a very, very old friend named Gwaine. He stopped dead staring at the man clearly in his early twenties, hair cut short, and hint of a beard, big smile, cheeky winks, and bellyful of laughs. It was like a shot to the stomach when he wandered over with a wink and a smile. 

“Can I get you a drink?”

“What’s your name?”

“My name?” the barman said baffled leaning back to appraise him. “It’s Gareth”

“Gareth” Merlin repeated with a nod and a smile. “It’s nice to meet you”

“Your name is…?”

Merlin smiled looking down at the bar and held out his hand for him. “My name is Merlin”

“Merlin? The same name from those Arthurian books I read in high school?” Gareth said baffled leaning against the bar. 

Merlin cringed covering a hand over his eyes and let out a sharp laugh. He hated those bloody books. Geoffrey of Monmouth had started it all, the damn man. The books that had continued on from that were crazy from his point of view and they were all so different and he hated them. He was not Arthur’s tutor, Guinevere did not have an affair with Lancelot despite her earlier feelings, and Mordred was certainly not the offspring of Arthur and Morgana. 

“Yes” Merlin said with a nod because it was easier to give in and it was so good to see a familiar face though he not recognise him. 

“Wow! Your parents must have loved the legend”

Merlin inclined his head scratching the back of his hair nervously. “Did you love the legend?”

“I guess…it’s a little complicated to follow and a little creepy. I mean there all different! So where’s the real truth in it?” Gareth said pouring him another drink. “Here, on me, you look like you need it”

“You have no idea” he murmured sipping it and pulling out one of the cigarettes lighting it. “You like the bars and clubs do you?”

“Yeah, I like travelling and visiting them all and you get to meet new people” Gareth said fondly meeting his eyes and pausing for a moment. “Your eyes…”

Merlin blinked feeling a little self-conscious as he pressed underneath his right eye. “What about my eyes?”

“I don’t know…it’s like you’ve seen all the ages of the world…like a millennium and it’s all stored in those eyes” Gareth replied staring at him. “They’re very beautiful by the way”

“Why, Gareth, I never knew you were such a charmer” he said in return with a nervous chuckle sucking on the end of his cigarette feeling his diluted magic swirl and flicker inside of him reminding him it was still there and for use. Gareth smirked winking and looked across the bar to the customers and wandered away to serve them. 

Merlin rubbed his forehead feeling a headache coming on swiftly and sighed deeply. He downed the drink in one feeling the burn and coughed violently. He felt a thump on his back and looked over to a gentleman looking at him in concern and he nodded his thanks. They were kind these days. Merlin drank himself into a state that even Gareth laughed at him near the end of the night. 

“Christ, mate, you don’t look healthy”

“You have no idea…no idea” Merlin muttered squinting at him. “Gwaine, you have no idea…I’m old, Gwaine, I’m too old now and I shouldn’t be here. I’ve waited for so long and I have no idea when he will come and I miss him so much” 

Gareth stared at him with a confused for a long minute before holding up a finger collecting his jacket and hauling him up.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home”

“No, no, Gwaine you need to…” Merlin slurred gripping his jacket and hiccupped rubbing his chest. “You need to take me to the lake”

“The lake” Gareth said bemused. “No way, Merlin, you’re too drunk and you need to sleep because you’re calling me the wrong name here”

“Gwaine is your name” Merlin snapped as Gareth hauled him to his car helping him in. “Take me to the lake, I need to go there…now”

“Fine, fine” Gareth said with a sigh starting up his car and winding down the window. “If you try and drown yourself though…”

Merlin laughed hard and bitterly staring out of the window and ignoring the frightened looks that Gareth was throwing his way. “It wouldn’t work anyway if I wanted it too…he will return and I will see him again but I need to go the lake”

The rest of the ride was in silence till Gareth parked and looked over to Merlin climbing and stumbling towards it. Merlin stared out at Avalon wading into the water and heard Gareth cursing as he hurried after him. 

“Merlin, my man, I don’t even know you but I’d rather you not drown” he shouted over to him. Merlin smiled closing his eyes and turned towards Gareth rubbing his shoulders. 

“Gwaine, it wasn’t your fault”

“Why do you keep calling me, Gwaine? My name is Gareth O’Connell”

“This is your name now” Merlin said with a hard swallow staring down at the freezing cold water swirling around his ankles and legs. “You died believing you failed but you didn’t…because everything came together in the end”

Tears burned hot in Merlin’s eyes and he let out a dry sob. “You didn’t betray us and you didn’t fail but you died in that knowledge. For two years I had no idea you were dead…I didn’t think for one moment” 

Merlin turned at the splash of water as Gareth walked towards him with a confused look on his face. His hand came to rest on Merlin’s arm as he stared out across the lake. 

“Why does this sound so familiar?” Gareth whispered staring at him in horror. “I should be calling you crazy…you’re not normal…but a part of me knows you’re telling the truth” 

“It doesn’t matter now because all you need to know is that you didn’t fail and you never will” 

Gareth stared at him confused steadying him when he turned towards him. Merlin squinted at him and inhaled deeply before letting it out in painful gust. 

“Will you take me home now? There’s nothing for me here just yet” he muttered stumbling towards the shore when Gareth gripped his hand tugging him back. 

“No, no way, what did you mean?”   
Merlin stared at him for a long minute before tugging his hand away and walking away from Gareth. Was there any point in telling him of a past he wasn’t ready to remember? How are you meant to tell a complete stranger he is now the reincarnated version of his very old and true friend, Gwaine? It wasn’t something people took to with a kind nod and acceptance. 

In this life, there was no such thing as magic, dragons, goblins, and immortal wizards who were waiting for their king, their love, their soul mate. You shrugged it off with a laugh and a smile these days because even though there was kindness there was also arrogance and doubt. 

Merlin opened the car door waiting for Gareth who returned climbing into the car with a stony expression. Merlin gave him his address and stared out of the window feeling the rolling tension coming off him. He climbed out of the car and paused when Gareth spoke up. 

“Will I see you again?”

Merlin didn’t reply. He simply slammed it shut walking to his door and closed it behind him with a finality waiting till he heard the car drive off with a squeal of the tires. It was easy to ignore then confront these days and Gareth was better not knowing. Merlin turned to face his living area, his little television, his small couch, and junk covering the small room. Merlin liked television. It was like magic right there in front of you showing you programmes and films and he loved it. He curled his feet up on the couch pulling out a cigarette and smoking it away because he could and at the moment it was all he had. 

~0~0~0~

The twenty first century came in and still no Arthur. Merlin had chosen to remain in his old form for now. It was exhausting and weary but you had to keep the suspicions down of the old man in the house that didn’t seem to age. Neighbours came and went of course but there were suspicions from the neighbours who lingered around.

The twenty first century was a series of disasters from the war that raged across so many countries killing millions of people, the 9/11 attack in America killing hundreds of people, the bombing in both America and the United Kingdom shattering lives and killing many. Arthur did not return. 

It had been millennia and more since he had placed Arthur in the boat, pale, cold, and gone from the world. The pain that had shattered through his heart and soul was nothing he had ever felt. The dragon had told him he would see Arthur again but he never spoke of the never ending wait. It was somewhat a miracle that he was not the insane old man he was spoken of in the books. Merlin knew without a doubt he was strong, he was stronger than most of the people in the world and he was braver. 

So when the years passed and 2012 came with the “end of the world” talk sparking up. Merlin fully accepted Arthur to return but…nothing. Merlin walked down the road, his eyes narrowing at the passing lorry all huge and noisy. There was really no need. He stopped near the spot where he often went and sighed slumping his shoulders for a moment before carrying on back home. 

“Not today” he repeated over and over in his head. It was the only thing keeping him sane. 2012 ended with celebration as always which Merlin did not join in with and sat in his living area staring at his computer screen. Merlin loved television and he loved his laptop. It wasn’t easy money and over the many centuries he did work many, many jobs. 

It was 2013 when everything changed. It was March 2013 when Merlin went to bed feeling weary and exhausted as he tucked his blanket around him not expecting much at all. It was 00.01am when his magic sparked and flared under his skin shocking him out of his sleep as he clutched at his chest, his breathing laboured, his heart bounding fast and one word in his mind. Arthur. 

Merlin struggled out of bed pausing for a second as he whispered the spell to lift his aging spell feeling his skin tighten, the hair disappear and his hands turn smooth. He jumped pulling on his hoodie, beanie hat, and shoes before darting outside and getting into his little white fiat. He sped all the way and jumped out of the car when he arrived running to the shoreline skidding to a halt. The lake was silent in front of him and his breathing was harsh as he stared out confused. 

Merlin placed one foot into the water feeling it soak his shoe and looked up with a gasp when a dim light swirled on top of the water. He waded in further moving towards the light and pressing his fingers into the light in curiosity when a hand wrapped around his own. Merlin gasped slipping on a rock under the water and gripped the hand tighter and grunting in force as he tugged the heavy weight up. 

It shouldn’t have been that much of a shock when the person on the other end was Arthur soaked in the clothing he was wearing when he died. Merlin gasped when his heavy weight collapsed against him and he steadied him in the shallow water.

“Arthur” he whispered cupping his cheeks and shaking him. “Arthur!”

Arthur blinked disorientated and looked around confused to his surroundings. 

“Merlin?” he questioned confused before his eyes closed and he slumped against him passed out. Merlin let out a sob of delighted laughter in response.

“I’m here” Merlin hissed bringing him into a tight hug and clinging to his soaked body like he had never before. “Gods, I’m here, I’m here” 

He looked over his shoulder to the shore and hooked his arms underneath his dragging him out of the water towards his car. Merlin was still numb with shock and he believed it to be the adrenaline that gave him the strength to do this. He pressed his fingers over the pulse in his neck when he was finally buckled in his little car. It was a steady beat underneath his fingertips and he couldn’t stop the tears in his eyes at the fact he was here right now alive and breathing once again. 

Merlin drove them back to his home taking note of the nosy neighbours and hauled Arthur out of the car still unconscious and soaked from the lake water. It was like a shock to the system to do his duties once more and get him out of the soaked clothing. He turned up the heat and flashed his magic at the wood in his fireplace so more heat flooded the room. Merlin placed him gently on the couch wrapping his blanket around him so he wouldn’t be cold. His eyes traced over his features and he bent down onto his knees to trace his fingers over his face and let the smile aching to come out appear. 

Arthur felt achy but warm when he opened his eyes for the first time taking in his surroundings slowly. He saw a figure near the fire warming the room and sat up startled only for a very familiar face to come forward grasping his arms. Arthur met his eyes and opened his mouth confused taking in this new Merlin wearing obscene clothes and looking a little worse for wear. 

“Merlin, what on earth are you wearing?” he said in a croaky voice which disturbed him. Merlin gaped at him for a moment staring down at his outfit and shrugged. 

“Clothes, I couldn’t really wear the outfit I used to wear or I’d get a few strange looks” he said softly in reply. “How are you feeling?”

“Where the hell have you brought me?”

“My home, I’ve waited here for a…very long time now. You passed out and you were soaked so I had to change you” Merlin explained nodding at his naked chest and peering into his eyes. “I’m guessing you’re a little confused”

“A little confused? I have no idea where we are, I’m naked, and you’re wearing…” Arthur cried out gesturing at him. “That” 

“Arthur, it’s the twenty first century, 2013, and it’s currently…” Merlin said looking at his watch and ignoring the look of confusion on Arthur’s face as he grabbed his wrist to poke at it. “2 a.m. and you’ve been in Avalon for one thousand and five hundred years”

Arthur looked up at that, the shock crashing over his facial expression and his mouth opening in horror and confusion. 

“That’s…that’s a long time…Merlin, you look exactly the same apart from your eyes” Arthur said pulling his hand out of his grasp. “Did you die? I never saw you…I never saw anyone really apart from the end”

“No” Merlin answered simply sitting on the floor next to the couch. “I never died. I waited for you like I always would. It was my job, my…destiny to wait for you”

“You waited”

“Yes”

“You waited for me for all those years, Merlin” Arthur whispered baffled leaning back against the cushions. “That’s so long, where you alone? Gods, you were all alone weren’t you?”

Merlin took his hand squeezing it gently in his trying to be reassuring to stop the look of concern and horror on Arthur’s face. 

“Yes for many years but I’m not now am I? You’re back now, Arthur, and I don’t have to wait any longer. I never forgot you, ever, and you were always in my mind” he said softly stroking his thumb on top of his palm. “I would’ve waited for you a thousand more years; I would’ve waited forever if that is what it took. I was alone, yes, but I had my memories, my inner hope, and I knew you would come back” 

“What if I didn’t?” 

Merlin felt his expression falter and he shrugged his shoulders. “Burn the world down”

Arthur let a small smile grace his lips and he realised how much he had missed this man. His eyes drifted away to look around the small room taking in objects that actually alarmed him. The only thing that made sense was the man clinging to his hand and the fire roaring in the back ground. Everything else was foreign to him and he was very uncomfortable.

Merlin reached over picking out a leaf and wrinkling his nose. “I think you need you need to wash…you’re going to love this”

Arthur frowned watching him stand up and hold out his hand for him to follow. He wrapped the blanket around his hips following after him only to be led into a smaller room with a tub and other things. Merlin dared a look over his shoulder and pointed at the shower and the bathtub. 

“This, my king, is a shower and a bathtub” he said pulling the string near the door so the red light came on. He twisted the knob so it turned on and stood back waiting as the water spluttered and spurted out hitting the chrome of the bathtub. Merlin watched amused as Arthur let go of his hand gaping at the showerhead and down at the bathtub. 

“What the hell is this?” Arthur shouted out frantically gesturing at the steaming water. “What is this, Merlin? Where does it come from?”

“It comes from plumbing, pipes that run into the house and under the ground outside. The water flows out of the showerhead into the bathtub; you stand underneath it and use soap”

Merlin grabbed the blue bottle and the bar of soap gesturing it at him. “I’m sure you know what these are”

“Of course I do, Merlin” he said exasperated grabbing the bottle and soap. Merlin smiled delighted at the condescending tone he had missed so much. He resisted the urge to cuddle him and even kiss him. They were not ready for that just yet. 

“You use them to wash your body and these to wash your hair”

“Why?”

“It’s modern times now, Arthur, and we have to move along with it. It’s soap for your body and shampoo for your hair. If you don’t want to shower, you can use the taps” 

Arthur watched clutching the bottle of body wash and soap as Merlin turned off the shower and bent down to turn on the taps. Arthur gripped the back of his hoodie tugging him away to get on his knees and stare at the water running out two of the taps. 

“These come from the…pipes”

“Yes” Merlin said feeling faintly pleased till he realised it was now his job to teach Arthur everything about modern day society. Arthur huffed reaching over to twist them and turned them off. 

“Are you going to leave me alone in here?”

“No, I’ll stay here. So, do you want a shower or a bath?”

Arthur deliberated looking over his shoulder and frowning at the object Merlin was now perched on. “What’s that?”

“Oh this, it’s called a toilet. The chamber pot no longer exists and we have these” 

“Is this a joke?” Arthur muttered startled watching Merlin stand up and open the lid to show him how it worked. Arthur flinched when he turned the handle and it made a very loud sound flushing. Merlin smirked when Arthur clutched at his hand tugging him away like he was afraid it was a monster or some foul beast. Arthur swallowed looking at the tabs and pointed at them like a little child. 

“I’ll have a bath” Arthur murmured watching Merlin stick the rounded black plastic he called a “plug” into the hole and fill it up with hot and cold water. He poured something that smelt like roses in with it so bubbles foamed on top and he watched in fascination. Merlin let his hand drift into his hair and closed his eyes remembering the feel. He opened them quickly and switched off the tabs gesturing at it. 

“Okay, climb in, and I’ll be right back”

“What, no, where are you going?” Arthur commented staring up at him almost betrayed. 

“I’m getting your clothes, Arthur, not your…old clothes but new ones. I knew you would one day return so I got you a drawer” Merlin said nodding at the bathtub. “I’ll be right back”

Arthur stared at his bath and up at the now empty room. He swallowed removing the blanket and dipping his toe in the water relieved to find it warm but not too hot before slipping in. Merlin returned to see him surrounded by bubbles and bit his lip suppressing laughter as he put down a towel and some clothes for him. 

“Don’t…say…anything” Arthur said slowly giving him the narrowed eyes. Merlin smiled in return sitting down on the seat crossing his arms over his chest. 

“So has everything changed?” Arthur said slowly after a few minutes of silence. 

“Yes”

“Have you?”

Merlin smiled looking down at the tiled floor. “You told me not to…remember?”

“Yes but I meant do you still…do you still have magic or is it gone?” Arthur said slowly staring down at his hands in the water. He looked up when a fluttering startled him and he stared at the butterfly flying around the room. Arthur gaped looking at Merlin who met his eyes with a small smile. 

“It’s how I knew you were back. It’s remained within me quiet and rarely used and then…it erupted inside me like a firework”

“Firework?” Arthur repeated and blinked when Merlin laughed shaking his head. 

“I promise you I’ll show you everything but it’s an explosion of colours in the sky by a firework, people like to light them” Merlin said and gestured at the soap and shampoo. “Wash, Arthur, I’m tired”

“Well I’m not! I’ve been asleep for a thousand years it seems” Arthur muttered with a fierce scowl scrubbing the soap over his body. 

“Do you remember anything?” 

“Bits and pieces” Arthur said slowly with a hard swallow. “I know it was peaceful, calm, and I saw people…I think I saw my mother once before I closed my eyes again. In the end it was like a bright light covering me and it was warm…calm…and there was a woman’s voice telling me it was my time to rise again”   
Merlin listened intently and knew without a doubt that it was Freya speaking to Arthur. He moved over grabbing the shampoo and gestured at Arthur to lean forward.

“This is a onetime thing now, I’m here to serve and protect you, Arthur, but things have changed now. Servitude isn’t a main job not unless you’re the Queen of England”

“I’m the Once and Future King according to you!”

“Yes, you prat, but Queen Elizabeth is ruling over the United Kingdom along with her sons and daughters who will take over when she dies” he said scrubbing at his hair. “Things have changed, people have changed, and the name Albion is no more. It’s thought to be a myth and nothing more”

“What?!” Arthur shouted splashing to turn and look at him. “What about Camelot?”

“It’s ruins, Arthur, I went back a few years ago and…it’s no more. There’s nothing left” Merlin said sadly grabbing the jug and tipping his head back to wash the shampoo and dirt away. In the living area his clock chimed signalling it was 2.30 a.m. and held up his hands when Arthur jerked violently crying out and looking at Merlin with wide eyes. 

“What was that?!”

“The clock, Arthur, it’s okay” he said trying to reassure him. Arthur breathed out hard shoving his shaking hands into the warm water side eyeing the room. Merlin frowned placing his hand on the back of his neck and pulled at his arm. 

“Come on” Merlin murmured steadying him as he stepped out clinging to his shoulders soaking his hoodie. Arthur swallowed when Merlin handed him the towel and held up the clothes. 

“I’m not wearing that”

“Arthur…”

“No! Give me my normal clothes, the ones I know and the ones I like! I am not wearing them” he cried jabbing a finger at the offending clothing. 

“You can’t wear them, Arthur; people don’t wear chainmail and cloaks anymore. It’s jeans, t-shirts, coats and hoodies” Merlin said gesturing at himself and at a naked shivering Arthur. “These are night clothes and I don’t have any of what you used to wear so put them on…now” 

“You can’t tell me what to do, Merlin, I’m your king”

“When have I ever listened to you?”

Arthur huffed grabbing the clothing and leaving Merlin to step back and watch him carefully as he changed into them. Arthur finished staring down at the offending clothing and picked at the red shirt with a scowl. 

“I look like an idiot, no, wait, I look like you” 

Merlin smirked smoothing a hand down his chest and inclined his head. “I’ve missed you, Arthur” 

Arthur didn’t respond because he didn’t need to. He had missed Merlin too and it was good to be back despite the many confusions. Merlin led him into his bedroom and gestured at the bed. 

“This is all I have so I’ll take the couch” Merlin said softly turning to leave when Arthur grabbed his wrist wrapping it with his own hand. Merlin paused staring at the side of his face confused to see doubt and a little fright. It was odd to see it on the man and he wanted nothing more than to remove it.

“Don’t…don’t leave me…please” he pleaded in a soft voice. Merlin didn’t say a word as he led them to the bed making sure Arthur was comfortable before settling in next to him. He thumped the pillow for a moment before settling in. Arthur stared up at the ceiling not feeling the least bit tired and looked over to Merlin curled next to him. 

“Everyone’s dead” he whispered waiting and watching Merlin open his eyes. He stared into the blue eyes that reflected the sadness he felt building in his heart at the thought of his home, his kingdom, and his queen all dead and gone. “Guinevere, Leon, Gaius, Percival, Gwaine, and the entire kingdom…dead” 

Merlin reached out a hand stroking his cheek gently with a sad expression. “Gwen ruled the kingdom into a golden age; she was a strong, fair and just queen. The kingdom flourished underneath her rule for the years that passed and yes everyone died like they were meant to but peace was brought into the land. The crown was passed along to every successor and then lands were invaded, the crown was stolen or won and here we are now. It’s 2013 and thousands years later the world has moved on but you and I are the only ones who truly remember” 

Arthur closed his eyes feeling tears burn in them and he let out a shaky choked breath. Merlin pushed up catching the tear that fell slowly down his cheek. 

“I promise you everything will be okay. You’re now born into a world that you’re not yet used to but I promise I will teach you everything, you will be okay and you’re going learn to live again. I won’t leave your side…I never have” he said quietly stroking his cheek till the tears stopped and his breathing turned long and deep. 

~0~0~0~

“MERLIN! Arthur roared from the kitchen. “MERLIN, COME HERE!” 

Merlin jumped out of skin dropping the razor into the sink splashing him shirt as he rounded the corner choking on smoke to see the stove on fire. Arthur gestured wild hands at the flames until Merlin doused them out with water and opened the windows choking. 

“What the hell, Arthur? I told you not to cook!” Merlin cried exasperated staring at the charred pot and stove with a heavy sigh. 

“I was hungry, Merlin, and I’m not a baby” Arthur snapped walking out of the room in an angry mood. It had been two weeks since Arthur’s return from Avalon and things had been rather difficult. It was a major pain in the ass on Merlin’s behalf to convince Arthur to dress like a normal citizen but of course he screamed and shouted in a protest. He freaked out about the television hiding behind Merlin and shouting at him for using his magic like this. It took several hours to convince Arthur it was okay, it wasn’t some form of his magic and no, it wasn’t going to hurt him. 

“It’s a box…it makes no sense!” Arthur shouted slamming the bedroom door behind him leaving Merlin to shake his head at him amused. It was three days later when Merlin dragged Arthur to sit next to him and introduced him to technology. 

“What the hell is this?” Arthur demanded when the screen flashed to life. 

“It’s called a laptop, Arthur, and its expensive so don’t…freak out. The internet, over there, allows me to search the World Wide Web. This shows the news of the world, pages you want to visit and even…” Merlin said typing out in the search bar on Google. “Us”

The freaked out look on Arthur’s face turned to confusion when Merlin passed him the laptop into his lap and he recoiled jumping off the sofa to sprawl on the floor. 

“Get that thing away from me!” he shouted.   
“Arthur, it’s okay!”  
“No it’s not! Everything, everything, is different and you expect me to be able to handle this, Merlin?! You’ve dressed me in these clothes; you’re giving me food I’ve never seen…”

“I told you it was cooked perfectly and it was meat, Arthur, not “evil pink disgusting mess” as you had called it” Merlin said with a sigh placing the laptop on the table. 

“It was disgusting! What the hell is a cow, Merlin? Why isn’t it deer anymore? Why am I eating this…filth? Don’t even get me started on that” Arthur cried pointing at the television in an almost fearful way. “I have no idea where I am and you have a….what is it called again?”

“A car, Arthur, it’s like a horse but with wheels” he said faintly amused sitting back folding his arms over his chest. 

“Yes, that, and it’s not natural! We are nothing without horses and now we have these things!” he said exasperated and closed his eyes. “That shower, the pipes that sound like a beast from nightmares…”

“This house is old, Arthur, and nothing will harm you not when I’m around” he said pressing his hands together meeting his eyes. “This is our life now, we had another life before this but we can’t linger there”

“Says you who had thousands of years to adjust” Arthur replied angrily and storming away from him to claim the bedroom as usual. Merlin let it slide because he knew this would be hard and yes he was freaking out a lot but he could easily deal with it. 

Merlin stepped out of the back door to clear his breath and instead brought a cigarette to calm his nerves. He leaned against the wall sucking on the end when he heard footsteps and looked to see Arthur walking out and looking around the garden before focusing on him. 

“Why do you smoke those?” Arthur questioned yet again. 

“Because it’s addictive and I started in the 1960’s” he said with a small smile looking over to him. “Do you want to try?”

Arthur crept forward curiously and shrugged his shoulders trying to seem indifferent. Merlin saw through him like he always did and moved into his personal space offering him the cigarette. Arthur took it gingerly imitating what Merlin had done and choked when the smoke entered his lungs. Merlin grabbed it just in time and chuckled stroking a hand down his back patting it softly. Arthur looked up meeting his eyes and blinked watery eyes at him till Merlin brushed it away with his fingers and a small smile. 

His heart and stomach gave a flip when Arthur’s eyes darted down to his lips and he took note of their close proximity feeling a little giddy.

“Merlin” he breathed in question when Merlin brought his hand to touch his cheek. “I’m sorry for burning that fire box”

“The stove” Merlin said with a small smile. “I forgive you” 

Arthur nodded and couldn’t stop his eyes drifting down to his lips and wondering what they tasted like as well. Did they taste like cigarette? Why was he thinking of kissing him? Why did Merlin look like he did too? 

“Merlin” he spoke softly in question. 

“Yes, Arthur”

“You never did tell me in time what you did for me, what you did for Camelot”

Merlin narrowed his eyes before realising what he meant and nodded. “The first time I saved your life was when the witch was throwing a knife at you. When I was dying on my deathbed after swallowing the poison I apparently according to…Gaius sent a blue light to guide you to safety”

“That was you?!”

“Yes” Merlin said somewhat smugly placing his hand over his heart feeling it thump underneath his palm so full of life. He sighed softly not wanting to open their last memory together not when he was alive and breathing in his hands. Merlin looked up just in time as Arthur’s mouth descended on his in an almost hesitant kiss. Merlin instantly responded after his moment of shock pressing back against him till they drew away drawing in air. 

“I…” Arthur began to stay only to be silenced by Merlin’s hand. 

“It’s okay, Arthur, it’s okay” he said softly staring into his eyes to see honest to god fear lingering there because this before had never happened between them. It was such a step to go over after this long and it had finally happened. Merlin slowly removed his hand only for Arthur to move in again cupping his jaw as he deepened their previous kiss. 

He wasn’t 100% sure which one of them moaned but it was good. His magic flared inside of him causing things in his garden to rattle in response. Merlin flicked his tongue into Arthur’s mouth and let his hand drift into the back of his hair stroking it gently. Eventually they broke apart and Merlin stared at the rosy tint of his lips smooth with saliva and slightly swollen. He couldn’t resist pressing his thumb against it and drew it back with a wide smile when Arthur pretended to bite it. 

“Come on” Merlin whispered linking their hands together as he brought him back inside and lead him into the living area. Arthur followed till they sat down and stared away from him.

“It’s okay to feel scared…”

“I’m not scared” he snapped with a frown. 

“No, I know, I know, it’s just a big step for us and I don’t want you to feel…pressured”

“By you, Merlin, why would I feel pressured?” Arthur said with a scoff pushing his hand away. Merlin bit his lip gently and pushed up collecting his things together. 

“Where are you going? What are you doing?” Arthur said alarmed when he was pulling on his jacket. 

“I need to go shopping, Arthur; we don’t hunt these days and all our food is in shops. I told you about this last weekend. I will be back in an hour”

“You’re leaving me here with the screaming white box, the fire box which almost killed me, the magic box which speaks words, and all surrounded by the constant chiming sound!” Arthur cried out pointing around the room. 

Merlin bit his lip amused and shook his head. “You mean the washing machine, the stove, the television and the clock”

“Does it look like I care what their real names are?!”

“No, no, of course not” Merlin said quickly with a forced poker expression. “Arthur, I don’t think you’re ready for this…”

“Don’t tell me what I am and am not ready for, Merlin, now come on” Arthur said shoving his arm gently till Merlin relented leading the way and opened the car door for Arthur. Arthur eyed the car warily before taking a deep breath and stepping inside of it. 

“I don’t like this, Merlin, I don’t like this” he repeated over and over again when Merlin drove them towards the ASDA supermarket. Merlin reached grabbing his hand and linking them together to hold and squeeze it reassuringly. Arthur allowed this of course and clung to his hand like it was his only lifeline. 

They arrived and the expression on Arthur’s face was torn between horror and bemusement making Merlin want to laugh but he kept his amusement well hidden. 

“Come on, it’s okay, I promise”

Arthur kept tight hold of his hand as Merlin locked the car making him jump at the beeping it made. He scowled at Merlin who shot him a grin before taking him over to the trolleys selecting a metal carrier. Arthur ran his hands over it confused and looked at Merlin. 

“This, this, is what you carry food in, Merlin? Were they mad when this was made?”

“It does a good job, Arthur, now come on and stop making a scene” Merlin hissed tugging it out of his hands and heading towards the entrance. Arthur looked at the people chatting amongst themselves and hurried after Merlin quickly feeling strange and left out in the cold. It was shock when he entered the huge building and looked at boxes containing food dotted all around. 

“Why are apples in bags, Merlin?! This is disgusting!” Arthur shouted holding them all and catching all sorts of attention. “Tomatoes and…what the hell are these? They remind me of something I really…”

Arthur held up the banana looking at Merlin who reached out grabbing his hand flushing red and looking at the people staring at them. 

“Arthur, stop it” he hissed throwing them in the trolley and dragging him with him. But Arthur wouldn’t stop complaining and glared at people who got in their way and freaked when they entered the meat aisle. 

“You are not feeding me this, Merlin!” Arthur said in disgust holding up two pieces of meat wrapped in plastic. “You don’t wrap meat, Merlin; these imbeciles have no idea…” 

“Arthur!” Merlin said softly grabbing it and placing it back down. “I’m begging you to stop”

“You can’t tell me what to do, Merlin” Arthur said high and mighty as he spun in a circle. “This place is a haven of stupidity” 

“I will make you wait in the car!” 

“You will do no such thing!” Arthur said with wide eyes and followed after him when Merlin threw up his hands pushing the trolley away. It only got worse and worse as they went around and Arthur ridiculed and freaked about everything from wrapped bread. Merlin watched in horror as he threw a loaf on the floor before kicking it away in disgust. 

The looks of outrage and disappointment from people only embarrassed Merlin further as he got the remainder of their shopping and paid for it. 

“What are these?” Arthur said as he picked up the shopping bags confused. 

“Plastic bags to carry food, Arthur” 

“But there are ridiculous! Who came up with this idea?” Arthur said gesturing the bag at the cashier lady. Merlin looked at the confused lady and begged apologies with his eyes. He quickly shoved the money into her hand not waiting for change and dragged a grumbling Arthur out. Merlin arrived at the car and opened the boot chucking the stuff in and side eyed Arthur who stuck his head into the boot confused. 

“Well…it’s a little better than a horse, I’ll give you that”

“Get in the car, Arthur, before I hit you on the head”

“You can’t threaten me, Merlin!”

“I can do whatever I like, your highness, now get in” Merlin said invading his personal space with a raised eyebrow and smiled when he swallowed backing off. Arthur got into the car without complaint this time and sat waiting till Merlin climbed in seconds later. 

“You had to make a scene didn’t you?” 

“I’m not a child, Merlin”

“No, you’re just a clot pole” Merlin said exasperated and smiled when Arthur turned his head towards him smiling. 

“I didn’t realise till now how much I missed that word, even though it’s made up” Arthur replied softly and this time reached for his hand linking them together. “Also…before I didn’t feel pressured and I still don’t”

“It’s a big step, Arthur” Merlin commented looking over to him and away. “I need to get your sword back”  
“Excalibur, will you get it from the lake?”

Merlin nodded shooting him a warm smile that sent a shiver running through Arthur as he gazed upon him. It was an overwhelming feeling to look at him and realise this man, the bravest man he has ever known, the most loyal, the kindest, and his best friend waited for him for thousands of years. The affection inside his heart and soul made him want to reach over and kiss him once more. 

They eventually arrived back at the house and Arthur stepped out looking at the little house so different from the home he used to have. It was a painful pang when he thought back to his old home in ruins, all his friends, his knights, and his wife dead to the world. He jumped when he felt a hand on his lower back and looked over to Merlin who nodded at him to go inside. Arthur wandered in and grimaced at the sight of the television but he had eventually become accustomed to the laptop Merlin forced on him. It gave him a chance to read about everything. He had read the Arthurian legends for the first time the other day and was not best pleased. 

“I don’t recall having sex with my sister!” he shouted in horror. Merlin had laughed into his hands for a good ten minutes before attempting to calm him down and tell him that some of the Arthurian legends told about them were twisted. 

Later that night after Merlin had forced Arthur to eat the chicken and pasta for dinner. Arthur had grimaced declaring it was sick and would not eat it until Merlin’s eyes flashed gold and decided against it. It was 1 a.m. and Merlin was lying in bed when a small noise jolted him out of his sleep to see Arthur gone. Merlin panicked for one small moment before climbing out of bed and walking around to find him standing in the garden looking up at the stars. 

Merlin watched him for a moment before walking over and pressing a hand to his back. Arthur made no sign of movement or acknowledgement as Merlin stood by his side. 

“Arthur, come back to bed” he murmured and gasping softly when Arthur turned tugging him into a hard kiss. Their lips crashed together almost painfully till a tongue stroked against his lip and Merlin moaned eagerly. His hands came up to rest against his neck and cheek as they kissed more deeply than before. Merlin swiped his tongue against Arthur’s tasting the sweetness of a previous apple and pressed his body closer to his. 

“I had a nightmare” Arthur breathed against his lips. “I needed fresh air” 

“It’s just a dream” Merlin said in reply kissing his upper lip and holding his hand. “Come on, we need our sleep”

Arthur trailed behind him till they were back inside the bedroom and Merlin tucked them up under the blanket so they were side by side pressed close. 

“I forgot to tell you…in the 1960’s I met someone I never thought I would see again” Merlin whispered.

“Who did you see?”

“Gwaine in his reincarnated form, his new name was Gareth O’Connell and I met him in a bar” he replied looking into his eyes and seeing the surprise. “I didn’t go back for two months but when I eventually did he was gone. The barmaid told me that he had left three weeks prior and there had been no word. I haven’t seen him since” 

“Have you seen anyone else?” he said with such hope in his eyes that it made Merlin’s heart ache in sympathy and he shook his head. 

“If they are out there I haven’t seen them. Gwaine was the first and it was a gift given to him” 

Arthur looked down after that resting his cheek on Merlin’s heart going deep in thought. 

“Why do you think I’m back?”

“I don’t know” Merlin admitted honestly. “I was told by the great dragon that you would return when Albion’s need was greatest but I don’t see any apocalypse or global disaster” 

Merlin smiled when Arthur laughed and he breathed in the faint smell of his soap. It felt so good to be able to listen to Arthur breathe slowly in his ear, feel his warmth, and even listen to the hot pulse of his heart. 

“What did you dream about?” he whispered dragging his nose up his temple. 

“I don’t remember but it was fire and pain” Arthur replied slowly tilting his head back to meet his eyes. “It’s happened every day this past week and it won’t fade. I don’t know what to do to make them go away. I could do with a sleeping draught” 

Merlin smirked pressing a kiss to his forehead and pulled away. “They’re just dreams and they will fade in time”

“I hope so” Arthur muttered raising an eyebrow. “I like my sleep and I won’t have these dreams depriving me”

“Oh of course” Merlin whispered with a smile as they turned and twisted till Arthur was the little spoon and Merlin wrapped a comforting arm around his waist. He pressed his cheek to his back stroking his fingers up and down the skin of his stomach hoping to soothe him back to sleep.

~0~0~0~

“Arthur, sit down!” Merlin insisted when he brought out the hairdryer and Arthur protested very loudly. Merlin was forced to hold him down as he blown dried his hair.

“No, Merlin, it’s going to kill me!” Arthur shouted closing his eyes and attempting to get away from the heat blast. 

“Arthur, you’re being ridiculous! This is a hairdryer” Merlin said amused and annoyed at the same time as he brushed a comb through his hair. Arthur was stiff underneath his hand till he pushed the button clicking it off. He was breathing heavily through his nose glaring at Merlin like he was the enemy and if looks could kill then Merlin would finally be dead. Merlin smiled though because he could and it felt good. 

“You’re a drama queen, Arthur”

“I am no queen, Merlin, I’m a man”

Merlin rolled his eyes as he pulled back to look at his now dried and clean hair with a satisfied nod. Arthur scowled and jumped when the clock clang in the living area and despite the fact it had now been over a month since his resurrection it was still alarming. 

Merlin left him to it as he left going to clean up the living area and kitchen. He opened the cupboard bringing out the hoover to clean the room not taking note of Arthur watching him curiously and it all turned to hell when he turned it on. He turned instantly when a cry of alarm startled him and he walked into the kitchen to see Arthur sitting on the kitchen table pointing at the hoover in horror. 

“What is that contraption, Merlin?!”

“It’s called a hoover, Arthur, get down from the table!”

“No! No! It’s loud, it’s noisy, and it’s going to kill us”

“Arthur, it is not going to kill me or you. Do you think we scrub and clean the floors by hand still? No, we don’t. This is a hoover and it has to make loud noisy sounds, you prat, now get off my table before you break it” 

Merlin sighed deeply walking over cupping his hands and meeting his eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“I guess…”

“Oh you guess…Arthur, it’s not going to hurt us, and nothing will hurt us…not anymore. Now get down off the table and help me clean our home” he said looking into his eyes and seeing the surprise there. 

“Our home” Arthur mouthed gingerly slipping off the table. “This is ours?”

“Of course it is” Merlin replied shooting him a strange look. “We both live here”

“It’s a little different from Camelot”

Merlin snorted as he let the hoover rest against the wall and looked around with a fond smile. “It done well for all the years I was waiting for you to come back. It’s not far from the lake or the town centre”

Arthur stared at him with an eyebrow raised still not used to this kind of talk and folded his arms over his chest. “I guess you’re right”

“Are you admitting I’m right?” Merlin teased glancing up at him through his lashes and gasped playfully when Arthur tugged him over covering his mouth with his own. Now this had been slow progress from spontaneous kissing to being comfortable to do it without doubt and confusion. For now this was all they had done but Merlin couldn’t help but crave for something more. 

It was that night when Arthur turned towards him with a questioning gleam in his eyes as they huddled under the blankets for warmth. 

“Merlin” he said softly pressing a kiss against his ear. 

“This is sleep time, Arthur, not all of us have slept for a thousand years”

“Will you just listen to me?” Arthur muttered moodily stabbing his chest. “I have a question for you”

“Okay, ask away” 

“On your travels…did you meet anyone else?” Arthur asked coyly not looking into his eyes. 

“What do you mean, Arthur? Do you mean friends or lovers?”

“Lovers”

Merlin smiled for a moment before it faltered and he nodded. “I may be an immortal warlock waiting for the return of his king but I’m still human and a thousand plus years are a long time to wait and remain a virgin, Arthur. I had a few, yes, but they were nothing really”

“Women”

“Yes”

“Men”

“Yes”

Arthur’s facial expression faltered as annoyance crossed over his features. Merlin watched confused and fascinated for a moment before stroking his fingers across his forehead and pressing a kiss there. 

“Are you jealous, Arthur?”

“No!” he protested rolling onto his back. “Why would I be jealous?”

“They were lovers, Arthur, nothing more, nothing less, and if it comforts you only slightly they are long gone and dead from the world now. Did you really expect me to wait for you and not experience sex?”

“I don’t know what I was expecting!” he replied haughtily turning his back on him with a frown. Merlin sighed before pressing closer to him and resting his chin on his shoulder. 

“Did you want me to be lonely?” Merlin whispered pressing a kiss to his jaw. “They were never you, Arthur, I never forgot about you but it happened and I don’t regret it, I won’t, but I don’t want anyone else now if that also makes you feel any better. You’re all I need, you always have been and you know that, Arthur” 

Arthur turned his head to look at him and narrowed his eyes considering him for a long minute before nodding. “I believe you”

“Good now get some sleep” Merlin murmured kissing him sweetly and rolling back onto his side but Arthur held fast dragging him back. 

“So who was your last lover?”

“His name was Alexander and I met him in Italy. It was just one night and in the morning he was gone. I never saw him again” 

“You had sex?”

“Yes, Arthur, what else did you think we have?”

“How does that even work though?” Arthur murmured looking down Merlin’s body, his eyes lingering on his ass for a moment before meeting his eyes. “Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Yes…” Merlin said slowly. “The first time it does hurt but that’s the beauty of it I guess and men can have sex with men and women can sex with women, Arthur, you know this”

“I guess” he murmured looking down at his own body this time and up at Merlin who looked back at him with concern in his eyes. “Is that something you want from me?”

“Arthur, I don’t want anything from you that you are not ready for. This is huge for us and we’re in a different time, a different place, and you’ve only just come back to me so I will not pressure you or let you force yourself do something you’re not ready for” Merlin whispered placing a hand on his cheek. 

“But you want it, Merlin…”

“Shush” Merlin instructed kissing him and pushing his eye lids closed. “Sleep” 

It only grew from there as the next few days progressed and Merlin left Arthur in the house as he went to the lake and returned from the lake soaked clutching his sword. Arthur smiled widely when Merlin handed it over to him with a roll of his eyes as he went to get dried off. He marvelled over the sword he loved a great deal and held up in the light watching it gleam. 

“Don’t cut down the light” Merlin warned as he passed by rubbing a towel through his hair. 

Arthur looked over to him with a small smile clearly very happier with his sword in his grasp. 

“Thank you, Merlin” he said softly not meeting his eyes. 

Merlin glanced over at the words and swallowed hard looking out of the window and not acknowledging them. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to hear the gratitude of course but those words held a very painful memory that would never fade it seemed. The words “thank you” would never, ever, be the same again. 

Things between them progressed slowly but in a better manner. Arthur to Merlin’s delight was beginning to accept the modern ways getting used to hoover but he hid away when Merlin brought it out. Things between the two of them were filled with tension and awkward due to the fact the pair of them wouldn’t bring it up. 

It was nearing three months since his return when Arthur looked over to Merlin tying on his laptop with a furrow in his brow that he brought up the subject. He brought the pen that he was holding up to his mouth and continued to stare at him till Merlin looked over bemused. 

“What, Arthur?”

“I was thinking…”

“Don’t strain yourself” Merlin mumbled and glared when Arthur threw the pen at him. “What were you thinking about?” 

“Us”

“What about us?” Merlin replied warily looking up from the laptop screen. 

“Well it’s got me thinking that I really don’t like the idea that your last lover was some man called Alexander” he said with a sneer when he mentioned the name. “I would like to rectify that”

“Arthur…” Merlin muttered with a sigh closing the lid off the laptop and turning his body towards him. “You don’t have…”

Arthur didn’t listen as he grabbed a handful of the damn hoodie he liked to wear now and dragged him over. Merlin squeaked when the kiss turned into something desperate and fast paced and his hands gripped the back of his neck. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing though” Arthur breathed pulling back to look at him. 

“Are you sure, Arthur, because this isn’t…?”

“Merlin, do you really think I wouldn’t want to do something I hadn’t thought over first?”

“Well you are rather impulsive” Merlin gasped out when Arthur kissed down his throat and nipped at the sensitive skin. “Okay, okay, come on”

Merlin gripped his hand tugging him off the couch and into the bedroom feeling nervous as he stood with him. He turned meeting his eyes for a second before he pulled him into another kiss and gasped against his lips when Arthur tugged at the hoodie and t-shirt dragging it over his head. Merlin followed helping Arthur out of his clothes running his hands down his chest before removing the rest and pushing him down on the bed. 

Merlin straddled his lap when the clothes were removed and traced his fingers over his navel meeting his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“No, no talking, do as your told for once” Arthur insisted dragging him down running his hands into his hair to kiss him thoroughly and deeply. Merlin groaned fisting his hands into his hair and bringing him up. He couldn’t resist nipping his bottom lip and moaned when Arthur’s fingernails dug painfully into his lower back. 

“You don’t know how much I have wanted this” Merlin breathed as he pushed him down looking over to the drawers using his magic to get the lube. They didn’t need a condom. “This will help, I promise, do you trust me, Arthur?”

“I trust you” Arthur murmured and tore his mouth away to look at his hip. “Is that…what is that, Merlin?”

Merlin looked down at his hip and opened his mouth letting out a small chuckle. “It’s a tattoo, ink underneath the skin, and I was very drunk when I got it”

Arthur moved closer staring at the crest in shock and wonder tracing his fingers over it before pressing his lips against it. Merlin gasped stroking a hand into his hair and closing his eyes at the sensation of his lips kissing him so delicately there. He couldn’t help raising his head to kiss him and push him down onto the bed once again parting his thighs. 

“Just breathe” Merlin crooned to him in a soothing voice as he popped open the lube spreading it over his fingers. Life had a funny way of teaching you lessons and this lesson had been taught numerous times. He aimed low finding the hole and pressing his finger inside of him and gripped his knee when Arthur gasped in pain closing his eyes. 

“You need to relax…”

“Oh yeah! Say that while your finger is up my arse” Arthur grumbled closing his eyes and looking at Merlin who smiled in return kissing his inner thigh. Merlin crooked his finger pushing his finger deeper inside him and bit his lip at the tightness. Arthur was a groaning mess as Merlin fingered and stretched him. 

It was an overwhelming experience for Arthur having Merlin’s fingers in his arsehole and the feeling was undeniable mixed with pain and pleasure. Sweat beaded on his forehead and collarbone as he panted begging Merlin for more. He had never felt this full before and he wondered if it got any better. 

Merlin removed his fingers and smirked when Arthur groaned at the loss. “Wrap your legs around my waist…there we go…are you ready?”

Arthur nodded quickly and watched as Merlin grabbed the small red bottle popping it open again to slick up his cock with the substance. Merlin redid his arsehole again with the lube before grabbing his hips and lining his cock against it pushing in slowly. Arthur opened his mouth wordlessly scrunching his eyes and nose up at the sharp pain that came along with it. Merlin moved inch by inch before pushing in with a deep thrust feeling everything. His head bowed at the tight hotness that was Arthur and held back the urge to come right there and then a teenager. 

“Are you okay?” Merlin muttered with a hard swallow thrusting out and back in again slow and deeply. Arthur let out a low moan in response nodding his head frantically despite the pain he felt because it hurt there was also a pleasure he hadn’t felt in a long time. Merlin couldn’t hold back, he wanted him too much and let himself go as he thrusted hard into him. Arthur welcomed it as he thrust his hips up in time as his own cock slapped against his stomach hard and wet at the tip. His hand wrapped around it pumping it slow and he groaned loudly speeding his hand in time with Merlin’s deep thrusts inside him. 

His vision dimmed when Merlin struck a spot inside of him and he arched his back begging for it again, begging for the sparks to appear behind his lids once again. Merlin obliged of course striking his prostrate so he let out those moans again. The pace between them increased until all they both hear was their harsh breaths, the thud of their hearts, and the slap of sweaty skin hitting again and again. 

Arthur felt his climax rising up inside of him and let it go with a cry, his other hand gripping Merlin’s shoulder. His cock spurted again and again till he was drained and slumped back against the pillows till Merlin followed him. He caught Merlin when he finished emptying himself out of him and slumped on his chest.

“I’m guessing that’s sex with a man” Arthur murmured softly.

“Yes, Arthur” he murmured rolling his eyes as he pulled out and rolled onto his side breathing hard. “Was that good for you?”

“No, Merlin, that was dreadful” Arthur remarked sarcastically shoving him. “I wanted it, you idiot, and it was good, very good actually”

Merlin smiled widely turning towards him and meeting him when he leaned into kiss him. 

“I could do this for the rest of my life”

“You can” Merlin murmured. “We’re always going to be together, Arthur, because it’s destiny. We’re two sides of the same coin”

Arthur narrowed his eyes confused and amused. “Where the hell did that come from?”

“It came from a very, very old friend who I would imagine is laughing right now” he said fondly cupping his cheek stroking it gently. “So we can do this, we can be together, I can teach you everything I know and one day we will be called to save Albion once more and I will be forever at your side like I have for a thousand years, Arthur”

Arthur stared at him stunned not knowing how to respond but only taking note of the flaming glow of affection and love for the man staring at him with such adoration like it made him want to curl away. He moved forward pressing their foreheads together with a small smile. 

“As long as you stay with me”

“I’ll never leave” Merlin swore closing his eyes and listening to Arthur breathe next to him. Right there in that moment it was the best sound in the world and whatever was coming for them he was ready, he had his magic, he had his knowledge, and best of all he had his Arthur.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have any questions you can find me on tumblr: babyangelcastiel. I will be happy to answer there and on here of course so thank you for reading.


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